By a Thread
by TheBlueSheep
Summary: The night was long. The day after that would be even longer. If they had any luck, that is. [No intended pairings. Joui wars.]
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** No

**Rating:** T

**Pairings: **None intended

* * *

**By a Thread**

**Prologue**

It was a battlefield. It was always a battlefield. A battlefield where they were the losing side. They had been the losing side for too long now. Those monsters invaded their peace, took their country, and killed their friends. The monsters' will was weaker, but their weapons were stronger and more effective, their numbers larger. A strong resolve can keep you going until the end, but once you've reached your end and there is no one behind your back to take up your place, even the strongest will lose to the weak.

He watched as the monsters killed until the ground under their feet was painted red. There was Tanaka, a fourteen-year-old boy who had joined up a month ago after his brother never came back home. He was being slaughtered by a bear-like monster. He didn't even last a minute against it. And there was Hachiro. They had shared a drink by the campfire just last night. Now he was staring at the ugly grey sky with glassy unseeing eyes, terror plastered on his just as grey face.

He had to do something. He had to protect them somehow. His sword was right in front of him but every time he tried to pick it up he failed. Every time he reached out, he felt as if he was being torn apart. Every time he tried to stand, the lack of air in his lungs and the pain in his chest left him lying powerlessly on the cold damp ground. He was failing his comrades, his sensei, and most of all himself. He couldn't protect anyone.

Then there was someone standing over him. He gathered the last strength in his aching muscles and looked up, prepared to see one of those monsters. But it wasn't. He couldn't quite understand who it was. At the same time it was Hachiro and Tanaka, Hisashi, who had died in a siege a month ago, Takashi, who had died from a stray bullet a year ago, Satou, Yamada... everyone. It was all those whom he hadn't protected; all those who had fallen victim to this forever damned war. And they picked up his own katana and lifted it to deal the blow that was going to end his useless life.

Maybe it was for the best. Maybe he should just die. It would be so simple. No more sorrow, no more regret. He was about to die by his own sword. It was morbidly ironical, he thought. There wasn't anything to live for, but there was nothing appealing in death, either.

But that weak will to live didn't stop the deadly weapon coming his way; didn't stop the sword cutting into him; didn't stop the vital crimson fluid from pooling around him. The terrible pain was replaced with horrifying numbness and he fell into the darkness.

He had finally lost.

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**Author's notes:** Hope you guys like it so far. The first chapter will be out tomorrow, and an explanation for this fic along with it.


	2. Chapter 1: Not All Problems Can Be Solve

**Disclaimer:** No

**Rating:** T

**Pairings: **None intended

* * *

**Chapter 1: Not All Problems Can Be Solved with Chocolate**

Red eyes flickered open in the dimly lighted room. He woke with a start, sitting up, only to realise it was a huge mistake. His vision blurred and his side burned up with horrible pain. He slowly lied back down and held his breath, waiting for the pain to subside and the room to stop spinning.

"You really shouldn't be moving yet, Gintoki," a familiar voice came through the darkness, stating the obvious.

"Zura?" he asked when he could finally breathe again, however much it hurt. "That you? What the hell..?"

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura," said the man as he kneeled down next to Gintoki and looked him over, his dark brown eyes filled with poorly concealed concern. He reached out and put the back of his hand on Gintoki's forehead to check his temperature, then frowned.

"At least you don't have a fever," he said as he straightened out the blanket again. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Gintoki said, but a heavy cough that forced him to grab his chest and shudder, made his answer sound utterly unconvincing. Katsura, still frowning in concern, waited until he stopped.

"Here, drink." He ignored a quiet complaint about how it wasn't necessary and lifted up Gintoki's head, raising a cup with water to his lips, urging him to drink. "You lost a lot of blood from that cut on your left side and the doctor said you cracked most of your ribs. That's why you're having difficulty with breathing. He also said that he doesn't know anyone who has survived losing that much blood and that you might still die. He was new here," he shrugged. "The others are a little further away. They made camp the best they could in the middle of the forest. Your men are staying there as well. We found this abandoned shack and brought you here so you could rest better. It's not exactly quiet back at the camp right now."

Besides, seeing one of the strongest fighters down with such serious injuries didn't exactly have inspirational effects on the troops' morale, but Katsura didn't need to say that.

"You're not afraid of an ambush?"

"Kiyoshi and the others are keeping a close eye on the enemy's forces. We should be getting the intelligence soon enough. And Takasugi and Sakamoto are keeping guard here," Katsura informed. "Well, they were drinking and playing cards, saying that the winner gets to cut up the loser when I left them, but I would like to see anyone try to sneak up on them."

Gintoki just sighed and carefully shifted himself into a more comfortable position.

"You should stop being so reckless," Katsura continued after a while.

"You're the one to talk," Gintoki snorted, "I remember seeing a familiar wig just before the explosion. Why'd you come?"

"It's not a wig, it's Katsura, and I'm not above letting a friend die alone in enemy territory."

"You're not above most things. Well, most things except maybe Takasugi..."

"I'm also not above hitting an injured man."

"Anyway," Gintoki changed the subject, "how'd you get away from the explosion?"

"You had taken care of most of the enemies by the time I got there so no one tried to stop me from jumping into a nearby locker."

"A locker? You're really something to fit into a locker, Zura. What are you, a high school freshman?"

"It's not freshman, it's Katsura," he answered, but ignored the other half. "Honestly, charging in all by yourself. We had really hard time digging you out from under that wreck, you know. It's amazing you're still more or less in one piece."

"Is he alive?" Gintoki only asked after a moment of silence.

Katsura's expression turned even more serious. "He was when we left the camp. But he was also on the verge of committing seppuku for being the cause of nearly mortal injuries of the great war hero – Shiroyasha. We told him that if he did kill himself he would only make your injuries meaningless, so I think he reconsidered in the end." He paused for a second. "Though, despite the explosion, we could still save a lot of supplies from that wreck so I guess your injuries wouldn't be completely meaningless anyway."

"So we won the battle?"

"Yeah, it seems it all worked out in our favour in the end, thanks to you," Katsura said but didn't mention that their victory in this battle was rather insignificant in the long run and would most likely only lure in even more Amanto and extra forces from the Bakufu. Another battle would probably be held in just a few days after the enemy had gathered their forces and this time they'd have to retreat.

Gintoki just sighed again and stared blankly at the ceiling, trying not to make any unnecessary movements. He had probably figured out that they were nowhere near safe at the moment, as well.

"If you're hungry I could get you something," Katsura offered after a minute of silence.

Gintoki sniffed the air. "Smells like soba. You cooked?"

"It would be too troublesome to carry food here from the camp. There are only some cold leftovers left, though. We already ate the most of it."

"You got the ingredients from the ship?"

"Yeah. As I said, we got quite the loot. We even found some chocolate." Gintoki's eyes lit up and Katsura added quickly, "But you're not getting any until you have eaten some proper food first."

"Aw, c'mon. You're acting like my mother. Chocolate _is _proper food."

"Well you're not getting any. And it's not mother, it's Katsura," he said, stood, and disappeared from Gintoki's sight for a while to come back with a bowl of still steaming soba.

"Leftovers, my ass," he mumbled quietly enough so that Katsura wouldn't hear him. Then he tried to sit up slowly and was halfway there when sharp pain shot through his side and he winced.

"Careful," Katsura warned and helped him sit up. "You sure you're okay? I could just feed you if..."

"Shut up and give me the damn bowl. I'm not disabled. I can feed myself perfectly fine," Gintoki snapped with a slightly strained voice.

Katsura doubted for a second, then decided to give him the bowl, but didn't leave his side. He watched closely as he ate holding the chopsticks a little awkwardly with his bandaged right hand, ready to support in case he started to sway. For a while, only a loud slurping sound could be heard. When Gintoki finished the small portion in the bowl, Katsura took it back.

"Want some more?" he asked, but Gintoki shook his head and Katsura set the bowl on the floor just in time, as Gintoki suddenly clutched his side and curled up, gritting his teeth in pain.

"H-hey, easy!" he said anxiously, supporting him from his shoulders. "Come on, you need to lie back down." Gently, but firmly, he pushed Gintoki down. His face was deathly pale, his skin cool to the touch, and every breath he heaved came with a struggle. "Did the wound open up again?"

"No," Gintoki wheezed out. "Just..." He made a grimace.

"Sorry," Katsura sighed. "We managed to save most from the food supplies, but the ship's infirmary had taken too much damage so we're still in a severe lack of medical supplies. The doctor already gave you all the painkillers he could spare, but I think if we asked, we could get some more."

"Don't be stupid, Zura," Gintoki said as he tried to calm down his breathing. "There're others who need them more. I'll manage. B'sides, they make me woozy."

"If you say so," Katsura said doubtfully.

When Gintoki finally got his breathing under control again, Katsura took out a chocolate bar from who-knows-where and handed it to him.

"Oi, oi, do I look like a good child waiting for a reward?" he said, but took it anyway.

"Yeah, you do," Katsura smiled.

Gintoki only grunted, already biting into the chocolate.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash outside and a, _"Come back here, you damn idiot,"_ followed by just as loud, _"Ahahahaha."_

They exchanged a glance.

"Sounds like Sakamoto lost the game."

"Or cheated."

"That's actually just as likely."

They stayed silent until Gintoki finished his chocolate, listening to the many interesting insults and the idiotic laughter that echoed through the night.

"According to the doctor you actually shouldn't even be alive, much less awake and talking," Katsura said, breaking the silence when he saw Gintoki fading out again. "It'll take some time before you can join the battle again and there's nothing you need to do right now. Go back to sleep. I'll tell the idiots to shut up."

"Yeah," he answered with a sleepy yawn.

Katsura got up and walked to the door, making vicious plans on how to shut the two idiots outside up.

"Zura," Gintoki murmured behind him sounding like he was already half asleep. Katsura stopped and looked back. "Thanks."

He smiled and said quietly, "I have told you a million times – it's not Zura, it's Katsura," to the already sleeping Gintoki.

Then he took a deep breath, turned and watched Takasugi chasing Sakamoto with his sword drawn, showing off his extensive knowledge of insults while his pray just ran and laughed, dodging his attacks with ease. Katsura waited for the perfect moment when the two were aligned and then landed a flying kick at Sakamoto's face, making him crash into Takasugi who just barely managed not to pierce him with his sword.

"Hahaha, ow, Zura, what did you that for?" Sakamoto laughed, rubbing his nose gingerly.

Takasugi stood pushing the curly-haired samurai off himself and face first into the dusty ground, but didn't sheath his sword.

"You'd better explain, Zura, or you will have no chance to ever speak again."

"Haha, you'd better not do that again, Takasugi, or you'll have no chance to ever drink Yakult2 again," Sakamoto said with a surprisingly threatening tone as he dusted himself off.

"Shut up, both of you," Katsura ordered sharply and explained, "He just woke up."

"Really? Come on, Shinsuke-kun, let's beat that idiot up for getting injured," Sakamoto laughed as he headed towards the door, cracking his knuckles. Takasugi finally sheathed his sword and followed him with a barely noticeably relieved grin on his face, but Katsura caught them both by their collars.

"He fell asleep again."

"So? That doesn't stop us from beating him up."

"He didn't argue when I told him to go back to sleep," said Katsura quietly.

Sakamoto stopped laughing and Takasugi frowned. This couldn't be good.

"And he didn't argue even when I told him he couldn't fight for a while," Katsura continued. "He said _thanks_."

This couldn't be good at all. They looked at each other for a few silent seconds. A warm night breeze brushed over the treetops.

"He must be pretty bad off if he's confused enough to _thank_ someone," Takasugi looked at Katsura sharply with his green eyes, waiting for him to report.

Katsura sighed. "It doesn't look like he has opened up his wounds again, but it seems he has slight hypothermia. The painkillers have worn off, too. He said he didn't want any more, but I think he's in quite a lot of pain. And he's coughing pretty badly. Though, he can still somewhat move and he did eat. He ate that chocolate too."

Takasugi nodded. As long as Gintoki still wanted to corrupt his body with sweets, he was going to live. Though, that hypothermia was still worrisome.

"Sakamoto, go see if you can find some more blankets in the camp," Takasugi ordered. "It's warm, but not that warm, and we can't really start a fire inside such a building," he nodded towards the old rundown shack. "Also, ask the medic for more drugs. Zura, you stay here and watch over the idiot. Don't let him move around if he wakes up. Use a rope to tie him down if necessary. I'll keep watch in the meantime."

Without waiting for their reply, Takasugi took a few steps back and after a short dash leaped onto the roof using a few wider spaces between the bricks as foothold. A single tile fell to the ground and shattered to pieces. Katsura and Sakamoto glared at the shards for a moment. Then they sighed simultaneously. Takasugi could be like that sometimes and usually neither of them would follow his orders, but it wouldn't do their injured friend any good if they started fighting now. Katsura went to the shack, mumbling, "It's not Zura, it's Katsura," under his breath, while Sakamoto took a stroll towards the camp located a few hundred meters further away down the hill.

-x-

At first the medic refused to give Sakamoto the painkillers, saying that he had no meds to spare for the dead, but after a quick explanation about how the dead one had more or less come back to life, he reluctantly donated some.

Blankets were a different story, though. They had been short on supplies for a while now, and even somewhat clean blankets and clothes were a luxury only the injured could afford and even then not everyone could get their hands on them. After a long search he only found two abandoned haoris which previous masters were in no condition to ever ask them back.

Then he went to raid the army's food storage which – thanks to Gintoki's reckless actions – was refilled again after such a long time. The guards wanted to stop him at first, but after they recognised him, let the cheerful samurai in without further questioning. Even Sakamoto could be scary if he so wanted to. From the storage he picked up some ingredients for breakfast, a bottle of sake, and tea, as it seemed that there was not going to be any sleep for the three of them that night. So might as well get drunk.

Just as he was about to head back to his friends – his loot tied into one of the haoris – a young runner caught up with him, completely out of breath. Sakamoto patiently waited for him to stop wheezing.

"Sakamoto-san... we have... the intelligence!"

* * *

**Yakult** is... well, anyone keeping up with the manga know what it is and also know of Takasugi's crush for Yakult. But for those who don't know, it's basically a probiotic dairy product. I heard it's good for your health and works well if you want to lose weight. Drink one bottle and you'll slim down like a hibernating bear with a really bad diarrhea. Okay, maybe that's not quite true but don't blame me for false information. I've never drank it before because they don't sell it here. But I guess Actimel is kinda similar for those who know what _that_ is.

**Author's notes:** I know what y'all are thinking. Huh? What? Haven't you written something like this before? It looks awfully familiar what is going on? And my answer is, yes, you are right, I have written this before. But ya see, the thing is, every time I saw the previous version it made me cringe _so bad_ that I had to write it again. And then I added a prologue. And then a second chapter. And then skipped the rest and wrote an epilogue... and yeah... To be honest, I realllly want to take down the old version, but I kinda can't do that. It has quite a lot of favs and, I must admit, it makes me really happy. It has also been translated so removing the original probably wouldn't be the best idea. Eeh, I'll just let it sit there, then you guys can go read it and see how much I've improved in one year. Or you guys can read it and laugh at my pathetic first attempt to write fanfiction. Whatever makes you happy.

The next chapter will probably be up next week, but after that I'm afraid I'll have to go back to irregular updates. We'll see how it goes. Oh and I guess it's a bit jerkish of me to ask, but please review if you can. Reviews are the best source of inspiration for me.

P.S. Please don't ask what happened to Dead Men Don't Talk update, or I will cry. I haven't abandoned it, I'll tell you that.


	3. Chapter 2: Watch out for Bedtime Stories

**Disclaimer:** No

**Rating:** T

**Pairings: **None intended

* * *

**Chapter 2: Watch out for Bedtime Stories**

Katsura leaned against the doorframe and stared into the night. Seeing Gintoki sleeping so soundly, it was hard to believe that he had been talking just a few moments ago. His pale face and those dark circles around his eyes reminded Katsura of the time when they were still peacefully studying in the temple school and Gintoki had fallen ill. Back then Katsura was forced to take care of him by Shouyou-sensei. Gintoki, the newest member of their class at the time, figured out fast that Katsura had no desire to disobey Shouyou-sensei and took full advantage of that, making him fetch sweets to fulfil his unfathomable wish to consume unbounded amounts of sweet sugary things. That, of course, brought along other problems, along with Gintoki feeling even sicker in the end... But that was all before sensei was captured.

Katsura shook his head. He'd end up feeling depressed with that line of thought, but in such nights there was no real escape, so he started making tea, hoping to keep himself even just a little occupied with something else as well. He really wanted to talk to someone, but Sakamoto still hadn't come back, making Katsura wonder what was keeping him. Though, it was probably something trivial, as always. There was no way Katsura would climb on the roof to have a chat with Takasugi. He'd make him even more miserable. And it wasn't as if he could wake Gintoki up just because he was feeling a little lonely. They were all exhausted, but Gintoki needed sleep more than the rest of them.

When they first joined the war, they had thought that after saving sensei, everything would go back to normal. But deep down Katsura knew that even if they had managed to save Shouyou-sensei, their lives would never be normal again. He was sure that both Gintoki and Takasugi knew it too, but neither really wanted to admit it. Most other students from their class had already been killed, chopped into pieces by the Amanto on the battlefield, or captured, decapitated, and displayed by the riverside by the Bakufu. Although some of them had died trying their best to save their country, and others were dead because they wanted revenge on the same country, Katsura always said that at least they had died a death worthy for a samurai. Gintoki just laughed, saying that an honourable death doesn't mean shit to a corpse, but Katsura knew that behind that bitter laugh he was the one who felt most guilty about it. After all, he was always the first to charge in, fighting like a demon to protect every comrade he could, but no matter how hard he fought, they just kept dying.

That was also the reason Gintoki almost died when he went to save one foolish soldier who ended up a little too close to the enemy ship. Gintoki covered his escape, but was trapped between the ship and the enemy army in an unfortunate course of action. So he did the one thing he could. He blew up the ship. Most Amanto in the area were caught in the explosion, and this decided the outcome of the battle, but with the sacrifice of Gintoki also getting buried under the debris from the wrecked ship. It was only thanks to Katsura being so close that they could dig him out fast enough and give him first-aid before he bled to death. And now the ferocious demon was lying motionlessly on one of the rare futons in camp, looking very weak and tired even while sleeping.

He was woken from his thoughts by a distressed sleepy mumble behind him and a sound of slithering cloth. Katsura neglected the teapot and turned when he heard a painful hiss and swearing. He saw Gintoki curled up into a ball on his right side, and was halfway through the room when he called out weakly, "Zuraa, you there?"

Katsura stopped on his tracks. Shiroyasha hadn't noticed his presence even though he did nothing to conceal it. He shook off the unsettling feeling, went to his side and lightly placed a hand on his shoulder.

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura," he gave the automatic response. "I'm here."

Gintoki turned to his back with noticeable effort, slumping into the futon, his dull red eyes just barely cracked open. Katsura thought he saw something in his eyes he hadn't seen for many years. Fear. Whatever he was seeing definitely didn't match with the real world.

"All of them... Can't move... Zuraa, I don't wanna die," Gintoki said quietly and took a sharp gasp, pain obvious on his face.

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura, retard," he said and lifted his covers carefully, checking the bandages revealed underneath. His entire torso, right hand, and left shoulder were wrapped up, but the most worrying wound was the long deep gash that ran down his left side from upper rib cage to hip. Luckily, no blood had seeped through the bandages, and so Katsura was glad he could place the covers back fast, as even in that brief time Gintoki started shivering from the cold.

He had never seen Gintoki suffer this much because of an injury. Usually he was up and ready to fight after only a few hours – or in more serious cases the next day – but his condition had never gone worse after treatment. Or, well, there were some exceptional cases when he had joined the battle right after being injured, opened up every single one of his wounds again, and had to be carried off from the battlefield as he moaned from pain later. This was not such a case, though, and Katsura found himself worrying for his friend's _life _for the first time as another cough left him gasping for shaky breaths and trying to turn to his right side again to relieve some pressure to his left.

"Listen to me, Gintoki," he said slowly and clearly while holding him down from his shoulders. It was a good thing that Takasugi wasn't there to see this. He wouldn't have known how to deal with a delirious man. "You need to calm down and stop moving. You're not going to die. I won't let you. It's just a little pain. Come on, you can deal with this much, can't you?"

"But it's so cold. It's always so cold after..." he whispered almost inaudibly. Katsura cursed silently and made a note to kill Sakamoto if the idiot was going to dawdle with those blankets much longer. Then Gintoki finally seemed to come aware of his surroundings as he blinked slowly and concentrated on Katsura's face. He frowned, looking utterly confused and lost for a second, but then a sudden idea seemed to strike him and his eyes lit up with an odd light. "You think Yuki-onna's* here?" he asked.

"Idiot!" Katsura snapped, letting go of his shoulders, relieved to see his friend back in this world. Well, as back as he could ever get, anyway. "Yuki-onna only comes during snowstorms."

"You're the idiot. Who'd want to come during snowstorms?"

Katsura considered that argument. "You do have a point," he said eventually. "I believe anyone would prefer warm summer nights over winters. And on top of that, who'd ever expect her in summer? It'd be the perfect time to take on unsuspecting victims... Well, you're too ugly to get her attention anyway, so don't worry."

"Oi, who're you callin' ugly? Do you want to die in a ditch somewhere, you bastard? B'sides, isn't _not_ getting her attention even worse than getting it? Doesn't she freeze those she _doesn't_ like to death? I mean... er, no, never mind. It doesn't matter. If she came I'd screwed anyway. I take pride in my bachelorhood. However, _you'd_ like her, wouldn't you, Zura? You know, with her being married and everything? You'd do all kinds of kinky stuff with her, wouldn't you?"

"Ha! Wrong! You can't get me with that! Yuki-onna is a widow already. I know that."

"That's even better for you, isn't it?" he smiled sneakily.

"Shut up, asshole. I'm only interested in the life stories of widows. _Only_ the life stories. Don't go off thinking something dirty on your own."

Gintoki looked like he was about to laugh for the first time that night, but flinched and stopped before he could. "So how long was I asleep?" he asked instead.

"Not long. Half an hour, maybe, and I liked you more when you were asleep so please fall into a coma."

"Aw, and after I went through all that trouble and woke up just to see if you were lonely and wanted to talk? Appreciate the effort a little, you bastard!"

He really did look exhausted, like it took a great effort just to stay awake.

"Nightmares?" Katsura asked quietly and Gintoki didn't give him an answer. Nightmares were uncommon when it came to the four of them. Fighting against monsters from outer space, their real life was usually much more terrifying than anything anyone could ever even begin to imagine. "Hold on, I'll get you something warm to drink. I think I still have some of that Kiyoshi's Miracle Sleeping Powder left somewhere..."

"What? No! I don't wanna drink that crap! Nobody even knows what Kiyoshi puts in there and every time someone asks he just laughs awkwardly and walks away. Whatever's in there, it tastes like garlic water and camel pee filtered through three weeks old socks and the last time you forced it down my throat I had a freaking blue devil sitting on my shoulder for a week!" Gintoki argued, terror creeping up on his face. But this pretended fear was something Katsura could easily deal with.

"Really? Is that how it works for you? I heard that Sakamoto just couldn't taste anything for a while and had blue vision for a day. But even he had to admit that it worked."

"Yeah, it works like a damn charm if I wanna sleep well one night and be freaked out for the rest of the week," he looked into the distance for a second. "Some of those things that little blue bastard whispered _really_ creeped me out... Zura, I'm serious. I don't want to drink that."

"Well _fine_ then, if you're going to be like that," Katsura pouted. Then Gintoki had another coughing fit, and though it was blessedly lighter than before, he still felt the unpleasant sting of concern as his friend breathed raggedly.

"But you should still drink something warm." Gintoki seemed considerably weaker than he'd been before and Katsura doubted he had the strength to keep himself up for an extended period of time. There weren't enough pillows to build something for him to lean against and the shack was left unbelievably empty by its last master – there wasn't even a single chair that could be used.

In the end he dragged both his own and Gintoki's bag over and shoved them under the head of the futon. Both their bags were small, holding only the things the truly needed, but they built up enough height so that Katsura could help Gintoki into a half-sitting position against them. Then he poured tea he'd been making before into two cups, trusted one of them into Gintoki's slightly shaking hands, and took the other to himself.

"Just so you know, I don't plan on sitting here nursing you all night, so you'd better go back to sleep after you finish your tea. In the meantime, do you wish to hear a bedtime story?"

"Who'd want a story from you?" Gintoki asked rhetorically, blowing steam from the cup.

"Something that'd cheer you up? I heard this one story a few months ago."

"No, please stop. I don't wanna hear it."

"Long, long ago, twins named Chi and Cho..." Katsura started.

"Those are some really stupid names. Stop."

"...lived happily together with their stepmother."

"_Stop! Please,_ I'll give you three hundred yen if you stop now."

"But little did they know..." Katsura continued, completely unaffected.

"DUDE! STOP!"

"...that their lives would soon change drastically."

"Aaah, there he goes again! _SOMEBODY, MAKE HIM STOP!"_

"It all begun on a lovely spring day when..."

"Heey, what's all the fuss about? Did I miss anything?" Sakamoto suddenly appeared in the doorway, his smile as wide as usual.

"_Thank gods,_ Tatsuma, make that idiot stop."

"Oh, Sakamoto, you're right on time. Gintoki was feeling a little down so I was just about to tell him a story I heard awhile ago."

"Who the hell was feeling a little down here?"

"A story? What kind of story? I wanna hear it too! It has _that_ in it, doesn't it?" Sakamoto winked.

"Don't encourage him! And what the hell do you mean by _that?_"

"I'm sorry, Sakamoto, but it doesn't have _that_ in it. You can get those kinds of stories from different brothels I'm sure you're very familiar with. Or from Kiyoshi, though his stories are always a little bit..." he searched for the right word, "impossible."

"Oi, don't ignore me, dammit!"

"Oh, come on, Kintoki, don't be such a killjoy! Even if it doesn't have _that _in it, let the man talk if he wants to!"

"M'name's not freaking Kintoki, and I know you know it, idiot. I've heard you use my real name plenty of times."

"What? Have I been getting your name wrong? Why didn't you say anything, Kintoki? Man, this is embarrassing, hahahahah!"

"Did you hear what I just said? Can you even understand human speech? You're kinda pissing me off. I'm seriously considering hitting you real hard now, you know."

"Guys, shut up! I'm starting to think you don't really want to hear my story."

"WE DON'T!"

"Haha, sorry 'bout that, Zura, carry on," Sakamoto kindly gave his permission.

"Screw you guys," Gintoki gave up with a sigh. "Do what you want but do it somewhere else. I'm tired. I'm going back to sleep," he said and attempted to drink the last of his tea but choked on it and coughed harshly, leaned forward and brought up his knees as he desperately gasped for air almost whimpering in pain. Katsura moved in quickly to take away the cup and support him when he swayed to the side, while Sakamoto removed the bags. Then they laid him down carefully and Sakamoto pulled the two haoris over him.

"Come on, Kintoki, don't pass out yet," Sakamoto said after letting him breathe and calm down a while. Then he took out a couple of pills from his pocket. "Here, you gotta take these first."

"Those are..?" Gintoki gasped out.

"Painkillers."

"But..."

"Doctor's orders so don't fight me on this one."

"You need to rest, Gintoki, but the pain will only keep you awake so... _stop that,_" Katsura added when Gintoki turned his face away. He gently lifted up his head, trying to get him to open his mouth. "Take them, get a good night's sleep, you'll feel better by morning, and _I told you to stop that do not think you can win against me now._" He flicked his forehead and grinned victoriously when Gintoki reluctantly opened his mouth and allowed Sakamoto to pop the pills in. The remaining tea Katsura forced him to drink made him cough again, but it wasn't as bad as before and it didn't stop him from glaring at them angrily.

"See, it wasn't so bad," Sakamoto smiled widely.

"You guys are dicks," Gintoki whispered, but his eyes were already drooping.

Katsura put his hand over his friend's eyes. "Yeah, yeah, now sleep, idiot," he said softly. When he removed his hand, Gintoki was asleep.

"Seriously, it's like dealing with a teenager," Katsura complained quietly when he was sure Gintoki was out.

"Haha, he _is_ a teenager. You're a teenager too, Zura."

"It's not a teenager, it's almost twenty."

"You're eighteen."

"Eighteen is almost twenty."

"Is he out?" Takasugi suddenly stuck his head in upside down from the doorway.

"Yeah, finally," Katsura sighed.

"Oh good, Takasugi-kun, you're here too," Sakamoto said. He wasn't smiling anymore. "We need a plan."

"A plan?"

"Yeah. The enemy. They're gonna be making their move tomorrow. We need to get out of here."

* * *

**Author's notes: **Ah, theere we go. Let's get this party started now, shall we?

Also, I decided to answer reviews like this, if it's okay. I hope it's okay, but tell me if it isn't. (I have really bad memory and this way I won't forget to reply. Hopefully.)

So first of all, I'd like to thank you all very much! Each and every review makes my day infinitely brighter.

**Guest:** M-more than six times? Wooow, I'm really flattered. I do love messing with the Joui 4 and injured Gintoki is something I'll probably never grow tired of. And don't worry, right now I have quite a few chapters planned out so this fic will be even longer. And thank you so much for all the kind words. It really means a lot to me.

**Katou Michinzu:** Wellll, the thing with the title is actually that I was completely clueless how to title this fic. I spent the whole night coming up with all kinds of weird names but none of those fit. So by morning I just thought that screw it, I'll name it like this and that'll be it. Though, I'm very glad you like this new version. I've always thought that even though Gintoki loves being lazy, he hates it when he can't _choose_ to be lazy. And that one reason why he recovers from his injuries so fast is because he doesn't like feeling helpless. For me Takasugi gives off this feeling that he is good at giving orders (well, he has his own private army so he's gotta be) and sometimes he just forgets that the rest of the Joui 4 are not as ready to follow his directions. And I love the rare serious Sakamoto as much as I love the goofy Sakamoto.

**Zura4eva:** Yeah, all the chapters from now on will be longer. I'm a bit too far gone in the land of procrastination to maintain regular updates, but I will try to get the next chapters up ASAP. Though, my ASAP might take a while... I'm sorry...

**loopdeloop:** The messy bonds between the Joui 4 both in the canon timeline and in the past are one of my favourite things. They may look like they don't care much about each other, but that's not quite true. Anyway, I think this chapter answered at least some of your questions. There's more information coming up ahead real soon. And wait, that's what Yakult is for? Ah, damn. I always thought Takasugi kept drinking it to keep his hair all nice and emo. Damn. I got it all wrong. Damn it.

**Anonymous: **Yes, unless I manage to get myself stuck like that again, DMDT is well on its way. I will update it eventually.

* * *

***Yuki-onna** (雪女 - lit. snow woman) - a spirit or yōkai in Japanese folklore. There are many legends involving Yuki-onna, but here I used Lafcadio Hearn's version (I **DO NOT** own this story or characters in _**any form**_):_A long time ago, there lived two woodcutters, Minokichi and Mosaku. Minokichi was young and Mosaku was very old._

_One winter day, they could not come back home because of a snowstorm. They found a hut in the mountain and decided to sleep there. On this particular evening, Mosaku woke up and found a beautiful lady with white clothes. She breathed on old Mosaku and he was frozen to death._

_She then approached Minokichi to breathe on him, but stared at him for a while, and said, "I thought I was going to kill you, the same as that old man, but I will not, because you are young and beautiful. You must not tell anyone about this incident. If you tell anyone about me, I will kill you."_

_Several years later, Minokichi met a beautiful young lady, named Oyuki (yuki = "snow") and married her. She was a good wife. Minokichi and Oyuki had several children and lived happily for many years. Mysteriously, she did not age._

_One night, after the children were asleep, Minokichi said to Oyuki: "Whenever I see you, I am reminded of a mysterious incident that happened to me. When I was young, I met a beautiful young lady like you. I do not know if it was a dream or if she was a Yuki-onna..."_

_After finishing his story, Oyuki suddenly stood up, and said "That woman you met was me! I told you that I would kill you if you ever told anyone about that incident. However, I can't kill you because of our children. Take care of our children..." Then she melted and disappeared. No one saw her again._ ( Lafcadio Hearn "Kwaidan: Stories and Studies of Strange Things", Wikipedia: wiki/Yuki-onna)

Consider the part where Zura says that she is a widow just a creation of his wild imagination.


End file.
